what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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