which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
