I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
