Its about making memories worth repressing
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize