What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
