I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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