her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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