Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
