i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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