i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
