Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
third nipple confirmed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
