i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
