I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
