dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
