We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
