i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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