your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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