conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
