Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize