I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
