Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
