He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
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I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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