Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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