Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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