Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
