ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm passing your future prison.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
