is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
