In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
