Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
