Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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