Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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