HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
