Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
