He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
