??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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