I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
