oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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