3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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