A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was so not down for the gang bang
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
