tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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