we're blogging at a bar
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
