Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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