What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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