Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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