Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Never joke about your clitoris.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
