the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
