pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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