We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
