That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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