garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
