Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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