I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
