can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize