Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
