Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize