Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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