I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize