I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
my liver is dry heaving
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
