And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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