one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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