idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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