when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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