Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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